Caterpillar Series 5: One plea

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Just as I am without one plea
But that thy blood
Was shed for me
But as you bid me come to thee
Oh Lamb of God, I come
I come…

And this time I come with my bags and baskets full. Full of every disappointment, every hurt, every failed promise, every dashed expectation. I come with hope. Hope for new dreams, hope of the fulfilment of old ones. I come because only You can help me. I’m frail and tired… I have tried a lot of things in my strenght, and each time I’ve failed. It’s not that I like to challenge You or anything… I think you made me a ‘doer’, an ‘action lady’, in a good way, I think… But mixing with this flesh I carry, it tends to appear like a bad thing. I get ahead of myself often. And more often, ahead of You. And then when everything fails and/or I get disappointed again, I say You’ve disaapointed me again. I’m sorry. Really sorry. You have nothing but love for me. And I’m not easy to love…

So, my house hunting abi? I was really sad at the turn of events today but I trust You to work out the best for me. I know You don’t ‘make do’. I don’t expect You to ‘make do’ with me. So I’ll wait for Your best. And eerr… You know we don’t have so much time..? Yeah, okay, got it!

I love You too.

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