Monthly Archives: March 2011

Seances, Death and Curiousity about the Afterlife


I’ve always had a curious mind… As a kid, I loved to wonder about the world. I used to wonder about the heavens… what was there??? WHO was there???? Like every African child, I was warned never to question the deity or anything ‘holy’ for that matter. But it didn’t stop me from wondering, and asking those questions… What lies beneath… these clear blue skies… the sparkling beach waters… the dark murky earth…??? What makes the winds rage? Is it just rain? Okay, let’s play make-believe and say Adam was made from spittle and loamy soil, who did the molding? Who was the ‘molder’ answering to? Who was the ‘molder’s’ boss’ boss? And who was his boss? And who’s his boss’ boss??? For goodness sakes, there had to be Someone, Something in charge!!!

Anyway, that’s not the reason for this thought… But it is connected.

I also used to wonder about the afterlife. I remember a conversation I had with my mom the year she died. I was 6+ I think. We, both of us, had attended a funeral. She actually let me follow her to the cemetery. I don’t remember this but I’m sure I must have whined her into letting me see the actual burial rites that day. Cos thinking about it now, you don’t find 6 year old at burial sites, except of course its their dead being buried. Maybe it was cos she was going soon, maybe it was preparing me for her passing… Well, whatever the reason, that day marked my mind. I guess the woman who died was close to her cos she was on the porch later that night, staring into the dark skies. That was when I asked her: “What happens when people die? Where do they go?” She must have said something about forever cos I left that place knowing that when you lose someone you love, you may never see them again. It took years for me to find out that you could still get lucky…

Anyways, one could safely conclude that my curious mind forced a ‘bigger picture’ perspective on me. Now that I’m older and hopefully, wiser, I tend to think of these weird stuff in more on a ‘consequence’ perspective. I mean, we are all gonna die someday, right? What happens when I die? I wonder sometimes, which of all these myths about the other world isn’t a myth? Who’s version is to be believed? Buddha? Oprah? Moses? Scientology? Who do you believe? With the amount of information and story versions we have to choose from, it’s amazing that we all haven’t created our own individual religion or unreligion. But the thing is, of all these stories, there is only one truth. The truth. That is one thing that lacks perspective. Fact can be subjective and subject to perception, but truth? Truth is only one color. One shade of one color. Like the color, white.

So, I ask myself, rather than racking my head about the afterlife, wouldn’t it just settle it if I could get a credible source from there (someone that’s been there before or someone that lives there) to just tell me what really obtains after you die??? What I’d like to know, is there really and afterlife? If there is, what else is there? Re-incarnation? Purgatory? Heaven? Hell? Who’s side should I be on while I’m still stuck here? Thinking like this, I totally get why folks get involved in seances and ouji board games. If I’d had such access, I’d probably have tried to see if it’ll answer my question too…

But of all these insane thought, I guess the one that really racks my brain is this one: how come it seems no one thinks about the afterlife??? If what most of these ‘spooks’ say is true, I should plan for it, right? Like get some really secure insurance!!!! I mean, think about it, I get health insurance, car insurance and these days, travel insurance!!! Even life insurance!!! Even my boss gets some kind of insurance on me!!! It’s crazy, don’t you think? I mean, let’s just pretend that we can prove that the afterlife exists, I need to do something, right?????

But I look around me, and every one, almost everyone seems to live like the only consequences to our existence are the short term ones. Me, even you, and most certainly the Kardashians! And sometimes, it makes me sad… In all the wisdom of our evolution, we seem to have become more stupid… If eternity is for real, it’s much longer than the 96+ years I’m gonna be around for. I’ve spent the last 30 years preparing for these 96+ years, and it looks like none for the ‘forever after’. *SIGH*

This is the reason for my thinking. Whoever you are, whatever you’ve heard, whoever you believe, what are you doing about all that may lie beneath..?

PS: the author has her own beliefs. She’s not looking for new ones. Just wondering what she’s doing with all that she claims to believe.


Moving on


It gets better with time
The last one just wasn’t mine
But I loved better
Fell harder
I liked this one better
Cos it gets better with time

It gets surer each time
I take His step as He takes mine
And it gets clearer
The light, brighter
Spirit, firmer
And I did move higher
Cos it gets surer each time

It goes deeper e’vry day
This unsettling of the main stay
Taking my breath away
Saving me from stray
Not frail
Won’t fail
And I’m coming away
Cos it goes deeper e’vry day

What a picture tells me


I smile
Remember me
Cos I’m beautiful
And my warmth’s from deep within
When I smile
Take a shot
Pause and click
To remember
Freeze my lovely gait
In time, in space
Give me place with the high and dainty
Write my name
In leaves of roses

Remember me for only gaiety
Forget the lowly gaze
And shaky drone
Remember not the stench of anger
Carousing through
My unsteady tune
Erase the trace
Of shadows
Casting doubt
On my hearty rays
Cast my name
In long history
Cast my gaze
With warm embrace

Remember me
For my beauty
Remember me
For my smile
Remember me
For my
Forget my thoughts
Without my smile.

Cinderella, there is a KING (QUEEN) in you…


I’m back at this thing again… It just won’t leave my head… It’s rolling round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round… in my head… Like a rolling top… that won’t stop… like that top on the table in ‘Inception’… Heroes.

I never saw the series but I heard it was like sci-fi meets super heroes kinda thing. Instead I did 24… Now that’s a ‘bozzman’ with style! Its just crazy the way we feed off our subconscious mind and totally ignore the obvious. Everyone, almost everyone, wakes up everyday looking for a reason to go on. We look for it in people, we sometimes think we’ll find it in places, and most times, we just repeating the same phases, find nothing, live empty and die full. I’m so sorry if I sound politically incorrect right now, but your life is going to be constantly messed up/meaningless/lack lustre/oscillating/empty/unguided/disatisfied/futile/empty if you don’t have Jesus.

I digress…

What I’m tryna say is this: life thows, sometimes, shoots, many things your way. Some are good and some are bad. Some are a bit off target and some are just spot on. Whatever the case might be, child of God, it doesn’t change who you are. You may have even brought this upon yourself! Maybe it was all your doing. And you are tempted to feel bad. Don’t stay there! Go through it and get out! Don’t allow circumstances define you! You have the power to choose your situations from this very moment. In the word of the king, there is power. Honey, you are royalty! An aristocratic dynasty is what you come from! Get up from that place of self-defeat! No body can stop you but you! I understand that sometimes we get tired. That’s why I’m typing/saying/blogging this. The King in me says to the King in you, Arise! Shine!! Your light is still here!